Mother Hover

I was the second of seven children and held a big responsibility in watching my siblings.  I held 2 part time jobs in high school, made my car payments and paid my own car insurance. I didn't ask for money from my parents, if I wanted to go somewhere I rode my bike or didn't go. There was a time when my family had no money and I watched my mom pull together other resources.  In 5th grade I was asked why I didn't own a pair of jeans.  It was the first time I realized it even mattered.

I knew how to take care of sick siblings, cook dinner, do my own laundry, find directions by asking, talk to people, make appointments, and find information on my own. Have you seen a teen struggle to even talk to another adult?  It is painful to watch. They have spent so much time using technology to communicate they have lost the art of speaking. When my oldest was 18 I walked her into her eye appointment at Wal-mart and dropped her off. Told her to sign in, fill out the form and wait for her appointment. She had an instant panic attack! But I walked away and she braved her fear of talking to people face to face.

Obviously if your child is very young this may not apply. But kids/teens who see you work through struggles, health issues, finances will learn how to problem solve as an adult. If we hide it all and only let them see life through rose colored glasses, then how will they handle any crisis? 

"Some kids don't lean from watching others experience things. They have to learn these lessons all for themselves. If we are consistently protecting our kids from the consequences of their choices they are going to go into adulthood completely unprepared. "  Stephanie Stewart

When did we turn into this society that we fear our kids may not have it all?  We over compensate by signing them up in multiple activities, then add private lessons and to top it all off we pay for it all! They lack the appreciation because they have come to expect it.  I am so guilty of all of it.  I'm not sure where that all comes from, maybe from watching my brothers get all the attention for sports. It's a competitive world out there and we naturally want our kids to have the best chance. But at what cost? If I could do it over, I would start with focusing more on academics and how to earn the privilege of extra activities. They would earn money to understand the costs and at the very least teach them the importance of the value of money.