tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12295340046195157062024-03-26T23:37:15.175-07:00Live Life GratefulLive Life Grateful is page to inspire, lift you higher and remind us all to be grateful every day. Life is full of surprises, we can make lemonade out of lemons. This is a blog to support individuals living with a chronic illness. It's also a page for women, moms, fitness enthusiasts, health tips, raising teenagers, travel and more. My hope is we learn together, find strength in numbers and laugh along the way. Life is an adventure, live it!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-79023971854622596332022-08-14T00:30:00.003-07:002022-08-14T15:29:11.295-07:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSvA3W9lys7VIxDffCI3RGtILJ7Mpenu2S-QWw1jeF-H18sok5_4bj3bFq5OFbi5eApQJwJWaUblpJawe4qQ4qWp7vEVNfESTrf2YaKQhDU8gdAuePScKmZyduCKWbk2YsDcySGQmFAC9evOSITaV7HDttS-5q_UxPlkgsBt_KYoYQ-zYERmv_viqwrg/s4032/IMG_1726.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt2dhCDzgCvLNBf0Sh7QO9osz6ItiED35_HYPM2slNysGmSMDkafraIQKRJWl2frB-XCbq7_iFjEAi0ffY1KE3Rto_7aUqmeObSkWijZyT-V--05C9j7UMWJpe30daBATEo8sq_D_oSkCmI5p27ywhPZvJ3cnOWcE-Lavqzi5OHdbwGR0uqEw27ioCDg/s4032/IMG_9949.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt2dhCDzgCvLNBf0Sh7QO9osz6ItiED35_HYPM2slNysGmSMDkafraIQKRJWl2frB-XCbq7_iFjEAi0ffY1KE3Rto_7aUqmeObSkWijZyT-V--05C9j7UMWJpe30daBATEo8sq_D_oSkCmI5p27ywhPZvJ3cnOWcE-Lavqzi5OHdbwGR0uqEw27ioCDg/s320/IMG_9949.HEIC" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Have you ever wondered why those outdoorsy people are so happy? They seem so calm and carefree while the rest of us are busy cramming in the last 15 minutes of lunch and hurrying back to work or running to the next thing on our list. We are a busy society. The World is in constant chaos. Anxiety and depression are at an all time high. It's why unplugging and getting out in nature is gaining in popularity. Those “outdoorsy” people may have figured it out. </span><p></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had very little exposure to the great outdoors as a child. Sure we went camping a few times, but hiking was a short walk to a picnic table, and by the time we set up the tent, we were ready to go back home. I was taught that campouts, fishing, and long hikes were for the boys, while I stayed home to bake with my mom. I’m terrible at baking. So when I figured out that I love being in nature and in the sunshine, I started to try new things. I picked up my first Paddleboard, picked up cycling, started hiking, and got out into nature. But what is it about nature that makes us all so happy? I’m not a doctor, this is from my own experience, but I may have a few ideas.</span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Being in Nature Can</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">…</span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1)☀️Reduce stress- Looking at trees, plants, and beautiful scenery reduces stress. When we unplug from our phones and the world, even for a couple of hours, we can reduce our stress levels. </span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2)☀️Reduce pain- When focused on nature you may feel the effects of literally not focusing on your pain. Take it from someone who has MS and suffers pain for most of the day, nature distracts me. I’m in less pain when I’m outdoors. Also movement, even just walking, can reduce inflammation and calm the central nervous system.</span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3)☀️Improve our mood- Who wouldn't be in a better mood after taking time for themselves? You are soaking in that extra vitamin D and breathing some fresh air. This is your new found happy place. </span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4)☀️Link us to each other- Taking a hike with friends or paddling out on the lake builds connections. Some of my greatest talks are on those long hikes. When you’re not on your phone and multi-tasking, you are able to focus and just enjoy the adventure. </span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5)☀️Connect us to our environment and keep us in the moment- Take the time to look around you. I often find myself saying “Look Up!” when I take a group out on the lake. It’s amazing to see the calm settle over their whole body, as they take in the beauty surrounding them.</span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">6)☀️Restore our overall well-being- People who enjoy nature and getting outdoors seem to be pretty chill. They have found what centers them. I know I have. Enjoying nature doesn't mean you have to suddenly take up canyoneering. Maybe it's a short nature hike or a walk in a park. </span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">7)☀️Can be a very spiritual experience- Whatever spirituality means to you, it is your personal connection to nature. I've been in some of the most jaw dropping places, and think to myself, what a gift from God? Thank you. </span></p><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><p dir="ltr" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Whether you plan a whole day or just a couple of hours to spend outdoors, you will notice a difference mentally and physically. </span></p><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Written by</div><div>Tamra Stephenson </div><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;" />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-87540298992564030322021-01-16T20:36:00.005-08:002021-01-16T20:45:15.320-08:00Fitness Class Gym Etiquette <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjte9_aODb8cNTL6S28GWmQ6fsc5myjx2AKiD55YbsE70R27CpJftYwVqilW9bVtvV3WJQ0mgQx5c_5YfCgVQqzsoMW53CXfRiTgh_IvvutusDdprtW5FGYaVyDYS4x1l7ONMKwYqe1bf1y/s2048/group+fitness+photo+stock.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1366" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjte9_aODb8cNTL6S28GWmQ6fsc5myjx2AKiD55YbsE70R27CpJftYwVqilW9bVtvV3WJQ0mgQx5c_5YfCgVQqzsoMW53CXfRiTgh_IvvutusDdprtW5FGYaVyDYS4x1l7ONMKwYqe1bf1y/s320/group+fitness+photo+stock.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />A few years ago I started posting a gym etiquette list for group fitness members. While some things have stayed the same, there are a few that have changed over time. I enlisted a few instructors to help me come up with a list. This should not only help those that are frequent class attendees but also for those who are new and may not even know there's class rules. You may even find yourself wanting to add to this list or start asking "what about rules for the instructor?!" For the most part fitness instructors follow guidelines for safety, fun and company rules. I also love feedback, good or bad it's one of the best ways we can grow as instructor. However, this article is a help guide for you, some funny takes on fitness and my experience as an instructor, manager and class attendee myself. It is not an article to point out everyone's flaws, name names or get offended. I hope you find the humor, see the reasoning and ultimately have the best experience in a fitness class. <p></p><p>These are not listed in any specific order and no we are not talking about anyone in particular, you don't know them, don't ask me. </p><p><b>If late... </b>We understand life happens and getting to a class right on time is not always possible. If late, please go to the back or side of the room as to be less disruptive. This is not a rock concert you push your way through to the front to get the very best spot. Be mindful of the other members. Way back in the day it used to be "If you're going to come late, don't come at all." That is absolutely not the case anymore. Show up when you can, stay for the whole class or part of it-- just come! <i> </i><b><i>For safety reasons we just want to make sure you are warmed up, your body is ready to move or cooled down enough that you can stop without risk or injury.</i> </b>We are just happy you came. </p><p><b>Your spot is not reserved.</b> Especially a format such as dance fitness with no equipment. I've seen fights break out over standing in someones spot, for real she got a bloody nose. There are new clients attending classes nearly every day in every class. These new members are certainly <b>not</b> going to know that the southwest corner in the front row is Suzie's spot. Make room. There's a reason it's called GROUP fitness and not SOLO fitness. We all want to feel welcomed. You come for the workout but come back for the connections. </p><p><b>SMILE now and then</b>. Standing in front of a room full of faces staring at you, waiting for you to deliver an amazing class, can be intimidating. We love it as instructors when you smile back at us and let us know you're having a good time. We don't want to wonder the rest of class if you think we are just crazy. I mean we are a little, but the fun kinda crazy. </p><p><b>Take phone calls outside</b>. Talking on your phone or scrolling through your social media in class is not only disruptive to the instructor, but the class as well. But if you must, please turn down the brightness on your phones in dark rooms like a spin class. Your bright screen is blinding the instructor, and ruining the movie... I mean the class. </p><p><b>Follow the instructor's choreography</b>. That's all, just follow it. Don't get me wrong, this is not about being new and just getting your feet wet. We accept 2 left feet, grapevines the other direction and turning in circles. Been there, it gets easier. Do your best, we are here to help.</p><p>This is about ignoring the instructor and doing your own thing. I've taught fitness over 13 years, can you imagine the choreo and formats stuffed in this brain of mine? There's is a high chance I don't get the choreo right 100% of the time or maybe another instructor teaches it a little different. <span style="background-color: white;">Your instructor has 18,649 songs worth of choreography in their head, give us the 3% margin, we may be off. </span></p><p><b>Just go with it,</b> unless we've made eye contact with a desperate look of "crap what's next?" just smile and go along with it. You may even know different steps that you learned to the same song in an amazing country ballet hip hop class, again please for the love of all that's fitness, <b><i>do the choreo your instructor is showing</i></b>. It can throw off the best of teachers or confuse the class all together if you are doing something different. We love it when you add your flare and level up the choreography we are teaching. It pumps up the class and builds an untouchable energy. That is the magic of group fitness.</p><p><b>The Chatty Kathy. </b>Having a friend come to class with you is so much fun. We love it when you bring your friends, the more the merrier. Please keep the chit chat to minimum or visit outside. It is tough to cue over loud conversations. Be aware of the class and space around you. </p><p>If it's not a class that uses equipment, don't get it out. There's generally a very good reason the instructor doesn't have equipment out. Once one person starts to pull out the weights, others tend to want to follow. </p><p><b>Please be respectful</b> of classes in session. If you are not attending the group fitness class, it is not ok to go in the back of class and do your own workout. This includes stretching, lifting weights, your own dance class.... (it's happened) We would love it if you joined in though. </p><p>W<b>ipe off your equipment</b>. I know, do I really have to go there? Yes I do. Please take the time to do your part. Yes gyms are going the extra mile to sanitize everything, but lets add an extra level of comfort and safety. </p><p><b>Wait for the class before you </b>to clearly be done before entering in. Give them a few minutes to clean up any equipment. Better yet, help put equipment away. Staring into the window will not speed the class up any faster. Maybe you could go join in for last few minutes. But looking at your watch, nose to the glass and tapping your toes, just gives us all anxiety. I'm excited, too. Should class have issues getting out on time, quietly discuss it with the instructor or gym manager. </p><p><b>NO groan and moan. </b>The grunting and moaning during class has to stop. I don't mean the occasional noisy exhale, I mean the "When Harry Met Sally" grunting, can't tell if it's "oh sooo good" or you have clearly met your limit on stretching or weights. Either way it's inappropriate for a class setting. If people around you are uncomfortable with the noises you are making, then it's creating a toxic environment, and some people might not want to come back. We get it, you are working hard, we don't all need to experience it quite that way. So I have given my class things they <b>can </b>say. "wow, this is killer, how many more?" I also accept "woop woop!" Anything that builds class energy without making me feel like I just cheated on my spouse in group fitness. </p><div><b>Be respectful to a sub</b>. It is not the best feeling as an instructor to have a student walk in the room, see that's it's you teaching and then do an U-turn to the closest exit. Are you there for a workout or not? Would it be the worse idea to try a different instructor? We are human, our feelings can get bruised, but also it's just mean. I don't refuse to teach when a not so favorite student walks in the room. Oh crap Cindy showed up, that's it, I'm done. You're right that does sound ridiculous. I'm all for having our "favorite" teachers, but it's ok to try someone new. We rely on our subs who have taken the time to add a class to their probably already busy schedule so we can attend to personal matters. I don't want to show up the next day and hear my class was totally rude to a sub and made her feel unwelcome and now doesn't ever want to sub for me again. If you choose to not stay, please discreetly leave. Chances are you just missed out on a great class and a new way to workout. </div><p><b><i><span style="font-size: medium;">Quick tips:</span></i></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: times; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><b>Wear deodorant</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: times; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">, it may need to be reapplied especially if its an evening class. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: times; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Wear Appropriate attire</b>-- this includes checking to see if your leggings are see-through. The difference between leggings and tights are if you can see your fingers when you run them through the inside. Try putting on star spangled underwear. If you can see your stars and stripes, they are tights. I may spend more money on my athletic apparel but it's worth not showing my "business." </span><span style="font-family: Arial; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><b>Ask for options if needed</b>. But do so <b>before</b> class. Pregnancy, injuries (old and new), fatigue, chronic illness are just a few reasons you may need modifications and we are trained to help. I personally love using my extra skills as a personal trainer to make each class fun for every level. In class recently a sweet lady said "I'm sorry, I could only do half those moves" Please know we are never looking for perfection. I love watching the progress of trying new things. Seeing students get stronger and more confident week after week, is why I do what I do. Doing your best is a level everyone can achieve. </p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><b><br /></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><b>Eat 90 min to 2 hrs before class</b>. Make sure you have the energy and resources for your workout. </p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><b>Hydrate! Before, during and after class. </b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><b><br /></b></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><b>Class Expectations-</b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">No bullying </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">No making fun of anyone </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;">Be kind and encourage each other </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;">This is a safe and judge free zone. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;">Ultimately our goal is to provide a safe and fun class that makes everyone want to come back </span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;">week after </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;">week. I understand not everyone is able to attend class in person. I hope and </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;">pray we all get there </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;">soon and can be face to face once again. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;">Until then enjoy those workouts from home or see you at the gym and keep moving! </span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;"><br /></span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;">Tamra Stephenson</span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre;"><i>Personal Trainer </i></span></span></p><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-43338799359447402472020-12-25T16:52:00.000-08:002020-12-25T16:52:54.208-08:00Was It Worth It? Being a Sports Team Mom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguS_XJbqSjBrWk9mSiuRrHAakWa2Ba2hahxmlQAuT3M8F_w4tfV0opehIAOxwdrmJGv5O_Bn8QHWHcC-VVbqYnpxHikkur4xaYnl_XkUTJPfKXaBqy-AQr4po8pRCriuYijvg-kun2tmlx/s1600/14362520_10210614100813876_5963924812690939240_o+%25281%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1060" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguS_XJbqSjBrWk9mSiuRrHAakWa2Ba2hahxmlQAuT3M8F_w4tfV0opehIAOxwdrmJGv5O_Bn8QHWHcC-VVbqYnpxHikkur4xaYnl_XkUTJPfKXaBqy-AQr4po8pRCriuYijvg-kun2tmlx/s320/14362520_10210614100813876_5963924812690939240_o+%25281%2529.jpg" width="211" /></a></div>
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It won't be long before my girls are all grown up and Im in the group of empty nesters. I raised a gymnast, a cheerleader, dancer, writer, artist, soccer player, skater and a rock climber. But I didn't just raise a talent, we raised daughters with integrity and values. It wasn't without sacrifice. I often see questions on social media asking for advice about putting their child in a competitive sport. Will it be hard?, is it expensive?, is it a lot of time?, will the other siblings get jealous?, is there a lot of drama?, is it worth it? The answer to all those questions is a resounding YES.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNZBxW9GrWhbM4SPJjRzzBd1sM2FAJsGkvEQHnzpYEdASbGHFjsmKGB4fqdxcSPEuP7wOWxvr_6-gYzv4ZNNnIwRFFgAEp7NngdPooigdWXP0gRhatCM7FOvA2zBVEfhDy9HG3_d58VFsJ/s1600/FB_IMG_1464129004160.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1068" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNZBxW9GrWhbM4SPJjRzzBd1sM2FAJsGkvEQHnzpYEdASbGHFjsmKGB4fqdxcSPEuP7wOWxvr_6-gYzv4ZNNnIwRFFgAEp7NngdPooigdWXP0gRhatCM7FOvA2zBVEfhDy9HG3_d58VFsJ/s400/FB_IMG_1464129004160.jpg" width="266" /></a>I think about the 12 hour dance dance days, waiting in the car for 5 hour practices, soccer camps, team competitions and a million other things we did for our girls. There we tears about early morning practices, girl drama, coach drama not to mention the mama drama. We paid out enough in team fees to pay for a vacation home in the Bahamas. We sacrificed vacations, new cars, and sometimes broke the budget to make sure they had every opportunity they had worked for. We question all the time if we were doing it "the right way", Did we push too hard? or not enough?<br />
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There were injuries serious enough to question the future of when to call it quits. I could tell you stories about dance teacher antics, and mean girl stunts that would make your stomach turn. Team sports is not for the faint of heart. You do it for the love of what you do and focus on that. There is rejection, being told you're not good enough and that your hair is just not the right color for a part. True story. So why did we keep going? Because their passion was their dream and you could see it every time they stepped out onto the stage or the field.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF-bkzWvZq_Rj1_tx-mgKtlHI9DWI3mfAzfXsVQkimuMpnmzY_cc7XS9lfvRjI75zwT8XPOMW8G7bnAY8JX3_cLEwEdcJNM02eLrYiXqerBtMiyBlvo06CRJZZAOBafv0WX7EO9_wC7vln/s1600/20170909_203920.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF-bkzWvZq_Rj1_tx-mgKtlHI9DWI3mfAzfXsVQkimuMpnmzY_cc7XS9lfvRjI75zwT8XPOMW8G7bnAY8JX3_cLEwEdcJNM02eLrYiXqerBtMiyBlvo06CRJZZAOBafv0WX7EO9_wC7vln/s320/20170909_203920.jpg" width="180" /></a>It wasn't about the money spent, it was about the values they learned. There were so many times I wanted to stomp in and tell a coach my opinions. I wanted to yell about the favoritism, the unrealistic expectations of a 30 hours practice week or the mean girls that were relentless. But I didn't. Most of the time my girls took on the responsibility to work it out themselves. A quality in youth that is hard to teach these days when its so easier to deal with problems on a device and not face to face. As hard as it was to let them handle it on their own, it taught them to take responsibility.<br />
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They learned time management, goal setting, personal responsibility, working as a team, fighting for dreams and making new ones. They learned to always get back up, that getting knocked down was not a bad thing, it was a challenge to do better the next time. Rejection was bound to happen, don't take it personal, and try again. I used to try to make excuses when one of my daughters didn't get a part or make an audition. Till I noticed I was way more upset then they were. They had learned the art of learning from rejection. A lesson they taught me.<br />
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The best thing about helping my girls do what they love was the joy in the journey. That's right don't forget to have fun. Its not always about the win. Sure it feels great to be the best of the best, but the journey will be lost if the focus is always on the end goal.<br />
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I had big plans when I saw the talent in each of my girls. I could see it as it all played out in my mind. College cheer, professional dancer, published writer, high school soccer .....but it didn't at all happen the way I had imagined. At first I felt like I had let them down somewhere, maybe I didn't help them see the big picture enough but Ive come to realize I just didn't stand back far enough.<br />
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Today I watched my 17 year old daughter as she ran into a previous dance teacher. He asked what she was up to these days. My first instinct was a bit of sadness because she's not dancing as much as she did and I have mourned the loss of what I thought her future might look like. Until she told me what her answer was. "I moved on", she told him. She proceeded to go on about graduating high school early, plans for college and after 14 years of dancing her heart out, she is now a teacher herself. Somewhere along the way I got caught up in the fame of it. Thinking we had to be signed with the top talent agency, goals to audition in LA, meet all the right people and be in all the right places. But today, I stood back a little further, and to my great joy I see a girl about to be a woman and a mentor herself. She can do whatever she wants to, reach for as many stars as she can and is sharing her talent. I couldn't be more proud.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUHfgUYkPAdGhTtGntd9iyljbcjxknObvLRbhoVXYp9dmsamN5dvHGtkI42iFAYDROH1p8VqxyzmqMIOCzHlr2dC9VtEXguFW-Sh1Oq34txzYy66KYq7_NZoW5-OZPYwMyo57q_BL1G01c/s1600/20150824_190319.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUHfgUYkPAdGhTtGntd9iyljbcjxknObvLRbhoVXYp9dmsamN5dvHGtkI42iFAYDROH1p8VqxyzmqMIOCzHlr2dC9VtEXguFW-Sh1Oq34txzYy66KYq7_NZoW5-OZPYwMyo57q_BL1G01c/s320/20150824_190319.jpg" width="180" /></a>My cheerleader, now 21, she did continue to cheer in college. She's married now and one of top art students in her class. That 12 year old little girl that couldn't get her homework from her desk to her backpack, has a world of opportunity just waiting for her. What we used to call stubbornness was really just determination. Being apart of a team, is part of what gave her the power to stick to her values and be an example to others.<br />
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When my 12 year came to me and said she was done competing soccer, we simply said ok what's next? She picked up a skateboard and said" I just want to try new things all the time". And so we did. Teaching your kids to live out their dreams doesn't always mean making it on the top competition team. I pushed a little too hard at times to have them make the best team. As parents we are the pep squad, the cheer team, the mascot, therapist and assistant coach, all rolled into one. But most of the time I should have just been mom. Encouraged, uplifted and been a shoulder to cry on. So with my last girl, having learned a few things, we simply said "hey, you'll be great at whatever you decide, we are here for you." She is now considering going back to soccer....for fun.<br />
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I guess my point in this whole article is, don't push too hard parents or take it too seriously. You may feel like you're in your own competition with the other kids on the team and even the parents. But you're not. Take a step back see the big picture. If that is their passion, then heck ya we go for it all. And sometimes a little push in the right directions is needed, but don't lose sight of the fun factor. Are they really enjoying it?<br />
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Yes it was worth being a team mom and having competitive girls. I did everything under the sun to support their passions and goals. I'm still their biggest fan. The era of being a team mom is done and life is moving forward without competitions and ribbons. But now there are celebrations of the goals they have accomplished and I get to be the cheer sections for every single one of them.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-79244830463538207782020-12-24T22:55:00.004-08:002020-12-24T23:14:03.156-08:00Stephenson Christmas Letter 2020<p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="215" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/O22UhFXsitk" width="470" youtube-src-id="O22UhFXsitk"></iframe></div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxbtCox61r8qcPGJxAUJRllgGJSG4wOLhrk6FJTpie_3I2zNlm2jvB-stEF9sRrco_X7OpsFw18vFDlu03qUGRxDbahOCjUBtTgiitL5_GDdkGCceX0j65-yLvqGBHjKxQ4X83dvJHCZIt/s4032/IMG_6896.HEIC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxbtCox61r8qcPGJxAUJRllgGJSG4wOLhrk6FJTpie_3I2zNlm2jvB-stEF9sRrco_X7OpsFw18vFDlu03qUGRxDbahOCjUBtTgiitL5_GDdkGCceX0j65-yLvqGBHjKxQ4X83dvJHCZIt/s320/IMG_6896.HEIC" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><br /><span style="font-size: medium;">This is our second year in St George. I look back at this year and feel so much gratitude. With all the chaos happening in the world today, I realize we are so blessed to have found this unique oasis to live our lives mostly normal. It has not been without its ups and downs but we are happy. What an amazing thing that is to be able to say. </span><p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-aa75f1f6-7fff-4f40-d71c-d3cd29805811"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What will we as a family remember from 2020? I took a trip to Hawaii with one of my best friends, we actually came back the first few days everything shut down. Which means we were not prepared for the toilet paper shortage! But we had so much fun and I’m so glad we were able to have this amazing vacation on one of the last weeks people were traveling. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My secretary job at the resort ended in April as many resorts closed down. But then my job working for a paddle board company took over for the rest of the summer. If you could describe the perfect job for me, this is it. I’m the Marketing Manager for Dig Paddlesports. Not only do I do their social media, I plan and run the events, teach SUP Pilates, instruct beginner paddle board clinics and basically live on the lake until October. I work for the best owners, work with a stellar group of teens and can’t wait for spring. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gyms kept going here so I have also been blessed to keep teaching fitness classes. When gyms were at a lower capacity I taught classes on zoom or outdoors. My MS for the most part has been so much better here with all the sunshine I get. I just went through a big relapse but I’m on the uphill of the battle. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our only big family trip was Yellowstone cabin again this year. This time with my sister in law Angie, Joe and kids. My MS kicked in with the elevation but we made the best of it. Unfortunately that also means it was probably our last year. I'm really pushin for a beach house vacation. We have created some great memories over the years at the cabin. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eric has been busy as ever. He was already working from home so the adjustment to keep working from home wasn’t a big one. The trips to Salt Lake for court have cut way down, so he’s not traveling as much. He bought his dream SUV that could carry his Kayak and all our gear. Then I decided it really needs to be mine since I drive more. He still calls it “his” car. It’s fine. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Reagan and Anthony live in Albuquerque, NM. Reagan is coaching gymnastics and Anthony is busy with his art. We were so happy Reagan and Anthony could come to St George for Father’s Day. It had been nearly a year since we were able to see them and have all the girls together. I definitely don’t like having our kids so spread out. Reagan and Anthony are also the proud dog parents of Clemantine. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Nicki moved home this past March. We love having Nicole here. She works from home with her art work and is a full time big sister. She’s such a huge help to me picking up Ava from school and running half my errands while I work a busy schedule. All my kids have this quick witted humor, they keep laughing all the time. Nicole is funny, I mean really funny and with a heart of gold. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Madison is in Salt Lake with her boyfriend, John. She got baptized by fire into adulthood. Between the earthquakes and working at a hospital during Covid, she really has had a lot for an 18 year old. Madison is still teaching dance and doing online college classes. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ava is a Junior in High School. She loves photography and sports. After many years of knee pain, she finally had surgery to fix all her knee issues. I’ve missed my hiking partner and hope we are in full hiking mode by spring. We hate to admit it but we are that family that watches the Bachelor/Bachelorette together. We hope its educational for all things NOT to do dating. Or we are the worst parents ever. Ava keeps us on our toes. Something about the last kid that makes you want to enjoy every little moment and not take time for granite. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We hope this holiday season brings you peace. Our hearts and prayers have gone out to those suffering with poor health, loss of jobs and isolation. I pray the love of Christ will be the guiding influence and light as we head into a new year. We wish you a Merry Christmas</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Love, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Stphenson’s</span></p><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-42021018110900253692020-04-10T11:54:00.003-07:002020-04-10T11:54:45.983-07:00Staying Motivated to Workout On Your Own<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If you have a love of the gym and fitness classes like I do, then suddenly not going to the gym was a shock to the system. I live for teaching my group fitness classes. I feed off their contagious energy and get an instant boost of happiness. I've described before what it's like to stand in front of class, the first beat of the first song hits and I get a front row seat to an entire group of smiles. I was less than motivated at first to workout on my own. But then I decided to still make <b><i>me</i></b> a priority.<br />
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We're in the middle of what seems to be a health crisis of the entire planet and confined to stay in our homes as much as possible. And while you want to follow all guidelines for staying home, part of you panicked a bit not getting your gym fix. Especially when you not only rely on it for your physical health but your mental health as well.<br />
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I shed a few tears the last day of class before the gym locked their doors for next several weeks or months. I went home feeling at a loss for how I was going to fill my time without my normal schedule. Then the big question hit me, how was I going to stay motivated myself and not just binge watch Netflix? <br />
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Here are my top tips for staying motivated.<br />
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1. Join a challenge or fitness group on FB or Instagram. <br />
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2. Find your favorite online workouts and do what you can, when you can. <br />
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3. Start sharing your own tips you've learned from your fitness journey, people want to hear what has worked for you personally.<br />
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4. Set a realistic goal. Even thirty minutes a day and prioritize it.<br />
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5. Involve the kids. I've seen some of the best workout with kids and teens joining in.<br />
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6. Take it outdoors! Walk, run, hike it and bike it! Oh and those cute fur babies need out too.<br />
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7. Brush up on technique. With all the videos being posted right now its a great opportunity to brush up on form.<br />
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It's been a few weeks now of teaching my fitness classes on line. I kinda love it. Connecting with more people from all over the US has been amazing. In return I also get to take classes that I normally would not be able to attend. Make no mistake I will be the first one to push through those gym doors when they open back up, gloved and masked if necessary. But for now I'm embracing the change and developing as instructor. I believe this time to reflect on how we do fitness will open doors we had not previously thought about. Stay healthy and safe my friends.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-52324075250555147902020-01-26T00:19:00.001-08:002020-01-26T01:22:30.250-08:00Making New Girlfriends As An Adult <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So you've moved, you're in a new place and everything is different. For a while you stay busy getting the house in order, getting kids settled in their new school, and maybe you've even started a new job. But at some point, you start to miss your girlfriends. You miss your Tuesday lunch dates and just being able to drop by to catch up. It feels like you've lost your safety net, and in all reality you did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We know what we would tell our kids when it comes to making new friends. "Don't be shy, introduce yourself, invite kids over, go to school activities"....the list goes on. But what do you do when you're an adult ? We can't go to the high school football game and hope to run into some people, oh no we are middle aged woman who's highlight of the night is probably a trip to Target and buying a new sweatshirt. So we gotta make a real effort to meet people. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It's actually more of a shock to the system than you think to suddenly be without the ones you are used to having around. Women need their girlfriends. Meeting new people is out of my comfort zone, but then one day you may find yourself talking to the cashier at Swig for 20 minutes about what you're making for dinner and think to yourself maybe you need to get out more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Every day for weeks when I dropped my daughter off at her new school , I encouraged her to make new friends, told her how amazing she is and how lucky these kids will be to know her. "Remember who you are, be a good example, I love you....." Oh yes I yelled it every day as she got out of the car in hope it will make her smile. It broke my heart to see her miss her old friends and try every day to make new ones. I knew what she was feeling and I couldn't fix it. It wasn't easy but she was going for it , so I had to try myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Now if you think clicks at school are hard to break into, try being in a small community of women who have clearly been life long friends. It starts to feel like 10th grage and you just want to be invited to sit at their table. "On Wednesday's we wear pink." > <i>Mean Girls </i>Thankfully some woman have that natural ability to reach out and include the new girl. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So where do you find a group of 30 to 40 year old women to hang out with? Costco seems like a happenin place. Maybe somewhere between the produce and the large box of brownie mix I can stir up a conversation. I was ready to post in the local Facebook community page. <i>" Looking for group of middle age women to hang out with. Requirements, no partiers, but aren't boring, are not crazy but fun and adventurous, like to jog but not marathon speed, dinner and movie are great but I'm in bed by 9.... Anyone interested please comment below." </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My husband didn't know what to do with me, I sulked for weeks. He was great about spending time with me, going on hikes and exploring our new town, but you could watch his eyes roll back in his head when I started to talk about things that only the gals would think is funny. Like the unexpected breast exam during a routine doctor visit for prescription refills. Still not sure that was necessary. And he didn't think shopping and going out for my favorite soda mix was fun at all. I needed girlfriends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So here are a few tips that I have either gathered or tried myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">1. Put yourself out there. Be willing to say "Im new" and introduce yourself. Chances are there's someone in that crowd that's new too. Not everyone you meet will "click" that's ok. You will find your people. And don't let age be a factor. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">2. Find a group with similar interests. Social media has several meet up groups for outdoor adventures, senior groups, play groups etc. Just put a search for your town in Facebook or the web and it should pop up. Or create a group and start inviting others. There's even an app for it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3. Church. Whatever denomination it is, its a large group of people gathering. This increases your chances quite a bit. But don't expect everyone to jump to introduce themselves. Again it's 50% you speaking up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">4. The Gym! Well of course I'd mention the gym, being a fitness instructor is my job. When I moved here I din't automatically have a bunch of classes to teach so I attended as many classes I could. A rare treat for me. But that is where I met some of my closest friends that I have now. Common interest. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">5. Your kids friends parents. You're new so if your kid is going to someones house to hang out, of course you are meeting the mom right? This could be an opportunity. Or at the very least you find out the mom is crazy and you've saved your child from future visits. (true story) Or its an opportunity to chat it up and your kids are the perfect common ground. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">6. Invite gals to lunch and pedicure. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You don't need to be best friends to have a great time. Laughter really is the best medicine and certainly curbs the lonely days. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">7. Volunteer. If you find yourself with extra time on your hands, find somewhere to volunteer. Even just one day a week. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">8. Work friends are easier to make, you see them the most. Just be careful it doesn't interfere with work. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">9. Dog parks. Take Fido for an outing and start up a conversation. I have to believe that most people are not stalkers and murderers on the side and it's ok to meet a friendly face. You can run their license plates later if you want. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">10. Host a game night. Get the significant others involved. While I know my husband may say he doesn't need friends like somehow its not manly, he had a great time getting out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And if all else fails just post on social media that you're ready to join that latest MLM group and you will have 1.552 instant new friends. They will message you every day, call you, take you to lunch all for the price of $$$ (Sarcasm intended)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I get it, friend dating for some of us can be so far out of our comfort zone. I wanted to stay on my patio couch, cry into the pillows for eternity and assume my dogs would be my only friends. But then something changed. It just took that one person to invite me over for lunch. And then we kept adding women to the group. The great thing is, you're only new once and then you get to be that person that sees the new girl and you will know exactly what to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Remember when you move, especially a big move to a new town, that it takes about a year to feel like its home. It's ok to miss your friends, close friends will always find a way to connect. I've moved over 25 times in my lifetime, so I feel like I can give some advice on the topic. But if you have anything to add, I'd love to hear it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><b>On a side note, this doesn't have to just apply to being new in town. All great tips for making friends period. There are too many women struggling with depression and feelings of loneliness. Please reach out, join in, we can make the difference. Go team sisterhood. </b></i></span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-52291876301351283592018-10-28T14:52:00.000-07:002019-08-31T16:15:38.470-07:00Chronic Illness: Top 12 Tips For Staying Active<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm 45 and was diagnosed with Intermittent Remission MS in 2012. Being a fitness instructor and a having chronic condition has had its challenges. I've learned a few tips over the years but honestly my days don't always go that smooth. There are days when I start off with a whole list of things to do but only get two of them done. And days where I only have energy for a 30 min workout, get my kid to school and crawl back into bed. So where is the balance? There is no magic formula because a chronic illness can change day to day and you have to adapt. The good news is, we are woman and we are resilient! We are going to help each other. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "roboto" , sans-serif; font-size: 18px;"><i><b>A chronic disease is one lasting 3 months or more, by the definition of the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics. Chronic diseases generally cannot be prevented by vaccines or cured by medication, nor do they just disappear. * Examples of chronic illnesses are,</b></i></span><br />
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<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #444444; font-family: "Lucida Grande", Geneva, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0.5em 0px 1.42857em; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000760.htm" id="anch_24" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Alzheimer disease</a> and <a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000739.htm" id="anch_25" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">dementia</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001243.htm" id="anch_26" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Arthritis</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000141.htm" id="anch_27" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Asthma</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001289.htm" id="anch_28" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Cancer</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000091.htm" id="anch_29" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">COPD</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000249.htm" id="anch_30" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Crohn disease</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000107.htm" id="anch_31" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Cystic fibrosis</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001214.htm" id="anch_32" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Diabetes</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000694.htm" id="anch_33" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Epilepsy</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/007115.htm" id="anch_34" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Heart Disease</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000594.htm" id="anch_35" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">HIV/AIDS</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Mood disorders (<a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000926.htm" id="anch_36" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">bipolar</a>, <a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001550.htm" id="anch_37" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">cyclothymic</a>, and <a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/003213.htm" id="anch_38" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">depression</a>)</li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000737.htm" id="anch_39" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Multiple sclerosis</a></li>
<li style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.28571em; margin: 0px 0px 0.85714em; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000755.htm" id="anch_40" style="border: 0px; color: #993366; font: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; vertical-align: baseline;" test="test">Parkinson disease</a></li>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">There have been several common factors when it comes to the challenges of balancing fitness and managing a chronic condition. Fatigue, lack of motivation, feeling self conscious, low immune, relapses, pain, lack of outside support, and time, are just a few of them. I'm here to remind you, you are not alone! I get it. So let's think about the opposite of all those reasons and see if we can't find a better way. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am not a doctor, these are tips I have learned through life experience and personal challenges. My goal is to help motivate others to find a way to just keep moving and feel motivated.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here are my top 12 tips for managing fitness and life with a chronic condition. As a side note you will find that these tips can apply to anyone! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. Always see a Dr. first for a proper diagnosis and get approval for any new fitness routine. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. Train with professionals. If you are working with a personal trainer, seek out one that has experience with chronic conditions. It's ok to be picky. Please let your trainer or instructor know ahead of class of any condition. That way modifications can be made if needed. I always appreciate the heads up before class starts. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. Any time of day is a good time to workout. Totally up to you. When it comes to fatigue I have tried everything under the sun to combat the brain fog. I try not to do a lot of caffeine, and make sure to talk to your Dr about any supplements. But here's the real truth. I know I'm going to have to just work through the fatigue. If I wait for a full round of energy to suddenly appear I would never make it to the gym. The great thing is I always feel energized when I leave and so grateful I pushed through the 10 minute struggle from the house to the car. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. Have FUN. Whatever your fitness regimen is, make it fun. It may include workouts from home, personal trainer, group classes, running, walking, taking a friend to class, dancing in the grocery store (ugh mom really again?) Having fun will keep you motivated. </span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">My friend Brooke Petersen says she's stays motivated working out with a friend especially on the "bad" days. Those are the days when symptoms are more noticeable. So grab a buddy, involve the kids, or find a local group. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. This is not an all or nothing plan. Do what you can do. 10 min a day? 2 days a week? There is no wrong answer here. I try to do something active 5-6 days a week. But if I need a day to stay in my pj's and watch Netflix all day, I take it with no guilt. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. When in doubt take the jump out. No need to be a star olympic athlete to join in. Everyone's beginning looks different and there is no body that works the same way. So it reasonable to modify exercises according to your body and energy. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. Workout to "feel" good, it's not all about the perfect body. Once I let go of an unrealistic body image and really focused on the healthy feeling I wanted to leave with, my whole outlook changed. If I can step out of a class with a smile on my face and feeling energized, then its been a good workout. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">8. You're doing better than you think you are. This goes for all you ladies! Don't let that discouraging voice creep in. What's my motto? How much you weigh has nothing to do with how good a mom, wife or friend you are. Fitness is a journey, not a destination at the end of hardest hill you had to climb. Enjoy the even the smallest of accomplishments. There is time and season for all things. My kids are older, and I'm needed less at home so I have more time to be at the gym. If your energy is needed more at home with your little ones, that is the best use of your time and energy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: , , , , sans-serif;">Many, many people struggle with chronic illness. I've come to realize that I'm not alone in this struggle and that everyone is carrying a burden. We can only do what we can do and God makes up the rest. Every time I reach my physical limit, God steps in carries the rest of the load." -Kim Taffti</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">9. H20! "</span><span style="font-family: , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif;">Stay hydrated and fuel your body with appropriate foods. Moderation in all things." -Kelsey Steed. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Keep that water close by and eat as clean as you can. But don't deprive yourself. I love a good Coke Zero, and a pink frosted sugar cookie now and then. Most the time I simply listen to what my body needs and not follow any specific diet. In general chronic condition symptoms like brain fog do better with clean eating. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">10. Look into other specialists. Find a Physical Therapist that specializes or has experience in chronic conditions. PT doesn't just have to be for injuries. Managing pain with massage therapy, </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: , , , , sans-serif; font-size: large;">chiropractor and pain specialists are all good additional resources. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: , , , , sans-serif; font-size: large;">11. Take it outside the gym. Nothing like a hike or a bike ride to get heart rate up and breathe in some fresh air. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: large;">12. Get a pet. I'm pretty attached to my fur babies. This won't be for everyone but for me having my two dogs has been an emotional support. When I was first diagnosed I didn't want to be alone and I was home resting a lot. We found the perfect little yorkie poo and brought him home. Without even realizing it I ended up training my dog to be an emotional support dog, </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: large;">because he has been with me since the beginning of my MS</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: large;">. He knows when to comfort me, detect when I'm tired, sense my bad days and curl up to me when I get too cold. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: large;">I would love to hear any additional tips you have found work for you. Even if you have already commented on my social media, add it here for everyone. There is power and comfort in numbers. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: large;">Now the big news. I will be offering 4 week training sessions for clients with chronic conditions </span><span style="color: rgb(29 , 33 , 41); font-size: large;">. If you would like to be a part of this group please email me at tamra@livelifegrateful.com for details. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><u>Podcast on being a mom with a chronic condition can be found at <a href="https://anchor.fm/salt-lake-moms"><span style="color: blue;">https://anchor.fm/salt-lake-moms</span></a></u></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Source</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "lucida grande" , "geneva" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">*www.medlineplus.gov</span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-76425498018326772222018-07-14T23:39:00.000-07:002020-01-26T01:43:14.525-08:00My Top 12 Tips For Being Married Happily Ever After<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimMI0OQbN1MXpKBYfOAwvSeCM70wg7R0SSCfP4JyqKASsjrva3epo11hEKCGil-6OIVdU-yip04wP3n0MnOHsBa2Phg7oPVvtU_Z4CApcuF11m6ZhiM1_OLobCjTTTl4THAlWIgEDdj1V2/s1600/20190608_123613.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1180" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimMI0OQbN1MXpKBYfOAwvSeCM70wg7R0SSCfP4JyqKASsjrva3epo11hEKCGil-6OIVdU-yip04wP3n0MnOHsBa2Phg7oPVvtU_Z4CApcuF11m6ZhiM1_OLobCjTTTl4THAlWIgEDdj1V2/s320/20190608_123613.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">I am 90% happily married, because let's be real no one is a 100% happy in their marriage. Even if they do post a picture with a heart around it, claiming they've never fought. Not only have I been married for 25 years, I've know my husband for 30 years. We met when I was just 15 years old. We were best friends, not even dating until one day he woke up and realized I was crazy about him. By then I was 20 years old and ready for him to dump his current girlfriend and propose to me. The rest is history and we were married July 15th, 1994.</span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Sounds like a picture perfect relationship right? It had all the right fairytale details but the truth was, I had no idea how to be a wife. I was raised in a very dysfunctional home with a lot of yelling, door slamming and verbal abuse. Somehow I thought getting married myself would mean I could start fresh and make my own relationship a fairytale. But that was not the picture perfect story that unfolded. My Prince charming had flaws and I was <i>no</i> princess.<br /> </span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have created a list of tips. The best of what I have learned over the years. What you choose to do with it is entirely up to you. You don't even have to agree with it. And in another 10 years I'm sure I'll add more to it.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1. Don't try to fix each other. </span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> <span style="font-size: small;">I knew what I was getting into when we got married. It was no surprise what our personalities were like. I was once told to pick the top 10 things that drive me nuts about him and then let them go. Not to say that we haven't grown together and improved on the things we've needed to work on. But I see no sense in wasting energy on the small stuff. Do I hate that the clothes never make into a laundry basket? Of course! But his clothes are on my floor. He comes home every night to me because he worked all day for our family. Take a deep breath and let it go. </span></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">2. I believe in going to bed angry.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> Most of the time you are just tired and worn out from a long day. Staying up all night to fight and figure it all out may get you nowhere. Chances are when you wake up it won't seem nearly as bad. If it does, you can think more clearly to resolve it together. </span><i>And if all else fails, take your shirt off</i><span style="font-weight: normal;">. That's right ladies I went there. No man can even think straight let alone focus enough to even remember why he was mad if he's staring at you topless. Nine times out of ten that fight will be over. (Obviously no children are around) ha ha. It's advice I've now given to my married daughter. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">3. Freedom is important.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> I am so thankful to have a husband that has never put requirements on my time. I've always been able to go out with friends, have girls weekend, or time to myself. Even when the girls were little, we found a way. I was home all day being a wife and mom and those free times were important. In return I tried to make being at home a place he could relax and have his own time. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">4. Listen to each other. <span style="font-weight: normal;"> Communication is key. We are both hot-headed people. Sometimes I can hang on to my pride for a very long time. Which means I will have the last word! Not a good moment for me. But then something happened that changed my view. I got a lifelong illness, it made me too tired to argue. So I began to listen, and realized that's all he needed in the first place. Men are simple. I'm not saying that in a mean way, but they are not hard to figure out. Sex, food, and sleep are the three things to keep them happy. If lacking in one, you'll know it. Women on the other hand, get all touchy feely and have emotional needs. I can stop talking for days if I don't feel like I'm getting any attention. Like I'm waiting for him to read my mind and figure it out. A simple conversation would have done the trick. "Hey could we go for a walk...."</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">5. Being respectful in private and in public.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> I was raised without this concept and it took me longer than it should to practice it. What you say about your spouse in front of children especially, sticks with them. Saying anything disrespectful in public is meant to demean, embarrass and has no place in a marriage. Kindness matters and is the only way to stay in love, and not just for the health insurance.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">6. The two of you come first.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> Yes the kids are the top of the list and they are the light of your life, but when they come first too often, your marriage will start lacking the oxygen it needs to stay alive. Another lesson I learned that hard way. Don't make yourself so busy that you become the last thing of each other's lists.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">7. To the women reading this. Be kind to yourself. <span style="font-weight: normal;"> In 25 years of marriage I have gone up and down with weight, depression, and anxiety. I worried too often that my husband wouldn't love me as much if I didn't look a certain way. It was years before I believed that what he loved was me being a confident strong woman, a loving mom to our girls, and seeing me do my best. That includes being loving to him. But I also believe we can make being at home all day an excuse to let ourselves go. Maybe not everyday but make that extra effort to put yourself together. Caring about yourself is sexy.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">8. Laugh often! Flirt even more. <span style="font-weight: normal;"> Before kids, we could stay up all night talking and then sleep until noon. Having kids made those talks a happen little earlier and less often, but we have remained the best of friends. We can laugh until we cry. Our kids think we are nuts. After knowing each other so long there are things that no one else even thinks is funny but I crack up. Our children make us laugh, one of our favorite things to do is turn off the TV and just laugh and talk with our girls. And flirt, yes flirt. Don't ever lose that. It will embarrass your kids as they grow up and catch on, but its healthy. We are not big on PDA but somehow we haven't lost the art of flirting. I would rather have my kids remember their parents being "gross" than not showing any affection.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">9. </span>Be selfless in all you do<span style="font-weight: normal;">. Jump at the chance to serve each other without expecting anything in return. When we got married, I whispered "Don't forget the little things." I wanted to always do the small things that made each other happy. When he brings me home a drink or scrapes off my windshield, that is love. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">10. Support each others dreams. <span style="font-weight: normal;"> It may mean taking turns at different points of your life but just like you want everything for your children, so should you want that for your spouse. Do everything in your power to keep that creativity and dream alive. It may be a hobby or career but go down that road together.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">11. Be ok with making mistakes.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> You will make them, in marriage, and in parenting. How we handle it is what's really important. Sincerely apologize and figure out how to do better next time and move on. Even with my teenagers I whole heartily admit I do not know everything about parenting and ask for patience as I figure it out. Holding on to grudges effects you personally and damages the strongest of relationships. Not all situations can be resolved that easily but when the situation allows, forgive and hug it out. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">12. Hold tight to your faith in God. <span style="font-weight: normal;"> This may not be for everyone but it is for our home and marriage. Our belief in God has carried us through every mountain of trials and made the happy moments even more special. Being married to a man that shows his faith in God has given me the strength to move forward many times when I just didn't have it in me. I knew at the age of 21 when we were married that our faith would be the binding glue to keep us together. It gives us purpose, hope, guidance, and so much more. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">No, marriage is not a fairytale. It takes time, learning from mistakes, and a lot work. But with all that comes all the beautiful moments, memories, and children. It's been worth every moment. The best part is, there will be a Happily Ever After. Just minus the castle.</span></span></span></h2>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-3650867846762680682018-07-08T22:23:00.000-07:002019-03-10T00:05:05.799-08:00How to Be An Adult on Social Media<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHzFCGS538VNxsIR20twd3l1Pt39zgmgcDCqe4Y5KFOvRuGj8WiDRaB-1uhUrI6iSzpE5YqgFWil3SJazEjbpjIxsOHa9v1zE29yDTM6kDXQEBAgFQYDw5EzMOJESZLahnRB58d-BNnAwY/s1600/before+you+post.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="536" data-original-width="720" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHzFCGS538VNxsIR20twd3l1Pt39zgmgcDCqe4Y5KFOvRuGj8WiDRaB-1uhUrI6iSzpE5YqgFWil3SJazEjbpjIxsOHa9v1zE29yDTM6kDXQEBAgFQYDw5EzMOJESZLahnRB58d-BNnAwY/s320/before+you+post.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Do we really need a seminar on how to be an adult on social media? What happened to accepting responsibility for your actions and just fixing it? Im stunned that I see so many personal agendas being addressed over a social media platform. You could just go directly to the person you have an issue with and work it out. If your neighbors dog barks too much, go talk to your neighbor. Chances are your neighbor will see the post, will then comment and be embarrassed that you've already made it public. Now you have two problems. I remember a time when making a personal phone call, writing a letter or a simple face to face chat was a much more adult way to solve a problem. Do I have to say "back in the day?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Let's talk about sharing personal information. Give me eight minutes, Ill do a Ted Talk on things <b><i>NOT</i></b> to post. Employers, parents, and schools you are applying to, ....are all looking at your social media. Posting about your medication, fights you had and using bad language is not going to look well. If I was choosing between two candidates for a job, you bet I'd pick the one that has a stable social media. As far as medical goes, it is a personal decision when sharing info on medical conditions. Posting about medical conditions for support and education can be a great way to raise funds and awareness. It can also be very therapeutic. Just make sure you are never sharing someone else's info without their permission.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">So let's be clear. Your Social Media personal page is awesome for keeping memories, staying connected to family and friends, and even opinions when done in a responsible manor. Social media for business is fantastic for generating new leads and growing your revenue.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">True fact, when my daughter asks to go on a date and I don't know this person well, I look at their social media. It's amazing what teens will post. And if they have foul language, violent art, inappropriate attire, etc the answer is NO. What makes you think you will date my daughter? Teach your kids at an early age the responsibility of information sharing on social media. And yes I have access to all my kids accounts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Women tend to create drama where there doesn't need to be any. If it wasn't for my business I'm not sure I'd be on social media at all. I've loved it for keeping track of pictures, its kind of a journal for me. I am not scrapbooker! So when pointless drama sneaks in, I just want to shake the person creating the drama and say "hey you are better than that!" We often talk about being real, lifting women up, and being a support system. Then do that!, how genuine you are matters. Not to mention you could really cause someone emotional trauma. Be kind always. Maybe I can clear up a few areas that create the drama in the first place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You have the<b><i> "Attention Seekers",</i></b> the "I'm having a really bad day".... but don't tell you what is wrong. 50 people then proceed to send emojis of happy crying faces. If you had a bad day at work, say that. Getting support from others who can relate could be really helpful. Just don't be too vague about it. There's a difference between wanting the attention from everyone asking "whats wrong?" to letting friends know your day was terrible and could use some support.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You have the <b><i>"perfect life"</i></b> sharers....No ones life is perfect, give me something real besides your perfect vacations, relationships and over the top parenting. People want relatable, not unreachable. We try so hard not to compare, but we do it anyway. Now I do have friends that use their face book just to keep up with family memories, and then go on to make photo albums out of it. Thats a great idea. But I'm talking about the over compensating comments, with a heart around the anniversary pic and telling me you've never had a fight in 15 years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Next comes the <b><i>"opinion moderators" </i></b>They want your opinion, but only if its inline with what they are preaching. Be careful you may find your comment deleted entirely. You are missing a growth opportunity if you don't look at all sides. I find myself commenting less and less on pages I know have a tendency to delete and control opinions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The <b><i>"home business multi marketers"</i></b> I love supporting small businesses but be upfront about it. I've gotten personal messages asking about my family and commenting on family vacations only to end with "I have a video for you to watch, no obligation but I need 10 people." Really? I don't have time for it. If you want me to review a product, just be direct in your intentions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">And last but not least, The <i><b>"offended"</b></i> Yes you've been offended, maybe not even on social media but you are going to call them out publicly. I do not want to know what you ex husband said to you, the family argument word for word or that your sister slept with your husband and "haha" to them you posted it public. Airing dirty laundry on social media is never a good idea, it doesn't look good for you. And lacks maturity. You may have been truly been hurt, but no one knows the real circumstances and public shaming can really do harm.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">In all these situations it is easily solved by getting back to being personable and responsible. Ask yourself what your agenda is first. Could it be solved by reaching out? Is the information too personal? Would I want a future employer, school or family to see it? Does it enrich my life, or someone else's? Is my post a hidden agenda meant for someone to read between the lines? And the last question to ask yourself, could it ever be used legally against you? My husband is an attorney, believe me your social media can be used for evidence.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">As social media grows in popularity and it doesn't seem to be going away, choose wisely what your content is. It's an amazing tool for business, a remarkable way to stay in touch with family and friends, and building communication across the globe. Just keep the drama out of it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">*Its almost funny that I will have to add, <i>these are only my opinions....</i></span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-30738600944054836002018-06-12T23:02:00.001-07:002018-06-12T23:59:08.911-07:00The New Normal<p dir="ltr">In the midst of feeling my own stress of moving, I got to spend time with my super amazing brave friend that is warrioring through cancer, give hope and extra love to a mom who struggles with her teens, teach a class to my awesome Vasa crew and laugh a lot with good friends. Today was a good day which brings me to....How I decided to have a good day:)🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋</p>
<p dir="ltr">Anyone ever listen to @thealisonshow podcast? I often do on my long drives. And she got me to thinking about my "new normal." Yes it sucks right now but this is my life. And my new normal. It's so crazy, I just have to laugh. Am I living in my moms basement with my hubby, 2 teens and a couple dogs? Heck ya I am. But I am blessed to take this little break, get our bearings back and start fresh. So instead of feeling the same way about things I cannot change, I chose to accept it for what it is and what a great day it ended up being. The pressure of fixing everything right now was gone. So on to my next and final point....<br>
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<p dir="ltr">Mental health is so important, just as important as physical health. Exercise isnt always about the weight loss, it rarely is for me these days. I do it for my mental well being. My anxiety is lower, my MS is staying under control way more often and I sleep better. Did you know 3 of my 4 teen daughters has had severe depression? It's a topic close to my heart and one I dont talk about a lot. One day, with their permission, I will tell you you their journey. But what I can say is that staying active is soooo important. Added into everything else I did for them therapy etc, I made sure they kept up with dance, cheer, choir whatever it was, it was their outlet. And I made it a top priority. I didn't make them go, but I never used their outlet as something to take away for punishment. Cell phone, car, going out with friends...absolutely. But not the one thing they could channel their anxiety to. For me, I go to the gym. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Now if you got through all this, I am grateful to you. I know it's not easy and a new normal can seem lonely. But you are not alone, we just need to speak up so others can reach out. </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvVqcDPaAi_xDfCXklGHx6hdy1GR12QllX986sLjs13ThdaJZuZcmGvYykT0o13XpZkBBSqjduIEYaQN6yqi7n-CT2y6qQavUIIeK8rUul5d2AV0shr0-Wf4QbstHle2pKFTwbQZNBLG2I/s1600/IMG_20180525_232452_939.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvVqcDPaAi_xDfCXklGHx6hdy1GR12QllX986sLjs13ThdaJZuZcmGvYykT0o13XpZkBBSqjduIEYaQN6yqi7n-CT2y6qQavUIIeK8rUul5d2AV0shr0-Wf4QbstHle2pKFTwbQZNBLG2I/s640/IMG_20180525_232452_939.jpg"> </a> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-18562283638516054682018-05-10T16:46:00.001-07:002018-05-11T19:32:48.092-07:00 The "Best Mom Ever"<div dir="ltr">
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Are you one of those women that has the Mother's Day Blues? Is it a day you find difficult to celebrate? Me too! It seems like a lot of pressure to be the "best mom." Maybe you're having a hard time conceiving, maybe you've had miscarriages, or maybe like me, you feel like you have fallen short as a mom and so it is hard to do the traditional Mother's Day. </div>
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Years ago I decided in an effort to help my children celebrate Mother's Day, I would figure out a way that would help my girls enjoy the day instead of watching me resent it. Because I do love being a mom. So the Mothers Day Staycation was born. Every year we go out of town (Like 25 miles away, haha) just me and my girls. That way I am not sitting in my bed in my best mom PJ look, wondering what to do with the potted plant my kid made me in school. I am out laughing, sitting in a hot tub, going to dinner, and shopping until we drop. Though I feel like I have not always been the best mom, I have loved them every second of every day. </div>
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I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. But the one of the things my Dad was really good at, was celebrating Mother's Day. I loved Mother's Day as a kid. I loved getting all the siblings together and doing all the traditional stuff for my Mom. And when my Dad was not in town my older sister did all the work and we were so proud. To see my Mom's face light up bringing her breakfast was all the thanks we needed. </div>
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But with my own family it's been hard. I've had four total miscarriages and four live births, I've been pregnant eight times. The first couple were exceptionally difficult. I remember after the loss, wearing form fitting dresses to work so everyone would figure it out, and I wouldn't have to explain it. I wanted to be a mom so badly and so Mother's Day was generally spent in tears. Flowers were being handed out in church as I watched moms holding their brand new babies. I began to avoid Mother's Day all together. Years later my struggle with depression and anxiety, mixed with my feelings of inadequacy as a mother hasn't made it it any easier. I find it hard to go to church on Mother's Day and listen to all the wonderful stories about being this perfect Mom. I just feel like I'll never live up to it. I know that's not what it's meant to do but I would love just one sermon on keeping it real! </div>
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I want my girls to know motherhood is one of the greatest blessings even on the days I forgot to feed my toddler lunch because I had morning sickness with my second pregnancy. Or that time I forgot my 6 month old in the car for 20 minutes while I shopped for her in Old Navy. (True story). My Mother's Day may not be the typical get up in the morning with breakfast in bed but I like my version. And even though my girls are getting older and moving out, I have already warned them that every year around Mother's Day it will be a girls weekend!</div>
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Find a tradition that works for you. Celebrate your own mother, celebrate the women who have influenced your life. I didn't raise my girls on my own, it's taken a small village of family, friends, adopted Grandmas, and mentors to get us here. So Happy Mothers Day, you're doing the best you can. Truth be told I like the potted plant, handprint painted wreath and the popsicle frame. But from my hotel bed. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-19661917185398229612018-01-03T21:50:00.002-08:002018-01-03T22:12:50.947-08:00Getting Honest With Your Food<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6mSzw7T8571ZdbLDLLCmTlVzKTZRGp2RUr01W6JSNHBtmdLcaGX1jqDr_BIcpH5YsBcZWwG7JqlrjG1LvGZ69YXK-oBN9b-1pkWXpatMaWpAiUOsaNk3h9jTtexsy0bftCjJvJHhv7bWt/s1600/20171217_112938-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6mSzw7T8571ZdbLDLLCmTlVzKTZRGp2RUr01W6JSNHBtmdLcaGX1jqDr_BIcpH5YsBcZWwG7JqlrjG1LvGZ69YXK-oBN9b-1pkWXpatMaWpAiUOsaNk3h9jTtexsy0bftCjJvJHhv7bWt/s320/20171217_112938-01.jpeg" width="238" /></a></div>
I didn't want to write this post because then I would have to admit I've been lying to myself a little at a time for years. But it's time to get honest, honest about the food I'm putting into my body. I tell myself that if I workout more, I can cheat more on food and then still expect to lose weight. It doesn't work that way. Only 20% of weight loss is working out, the other 80% is what you eat! I'm not one to count my macros, it works great for many but I don't have the time or the brain power to keep track of it. However I eat <b><i>mostly</i></b> healthy. Anyone on that diet? (laugh) The <b><i><u>Mostly</u> healthy eating plan</i></b>? Then I blame my fluctuating weight gain on water retention, medication, or "it must have been the dairy." Those excuses don't get us very far.<br />
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The word HONEST keeps popping up in my news feed. Nothing like a good dose of guilt to make you rethink your eating habits. I ordered a hamburger at a restaurant and then thought "I'm lying to myself!" Usually the dialogue in my head rationalizes how much I worked out that day so I can fudge a little on calories. <i>I can eat this big hamburger because </i><i>I will do more at the gym the next day.</i> I changed it to a bunless hamburger, no fries. Suddenly I'm relieved that I didn't lie to my body. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you will follow a food plan a 100% every day. I'm honest about treats too. I'm going to have 2 cookies, but for real only 2 cookies. Then add in the water factor and ask yourself are you really drinking enough water? It comes down to this, changing eating habits takes time. It's not an overnight transformation. But part of that process is taking responsibility for your eating and exercise goals. </div>
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Here are a few tips that have helped me.<br />
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When starting a new eating plan, <b><i>get a support group</i></b>. Be accountable to someone. I'm in a couple of groups. Just because I teach fitness classes doesn't mean it comes easy. I have a couple of inspiring people I follow on Instagram. They have to be motivating, real and good common sense. </div>
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<b><i>Meal prep if you can</i></b>. I have a small fridge and not a lot of space, its not always easy for me to meal prep but my instapot has become a lifesaver for quick healthy meals. <b><i>Take snacks with you.</i></b> If you are going to be out more than 2 hrs, pack a snack. We all have very busy schedules. Carpooling, running errands, work, and so much more. So instead of stopping at that fast food drive through, just pack a small lunch box and be prepared. </div>
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<b><i>Don't fall for the latest and greatest fad diet</i></b>. The simple truth is you need "real food". If you can't decode the ingredients, then pass on it. Make sure you are eating the right calories for you and your lifestyle. I started tracking my vegetables and protein again because I wasn't eating enough protein to sustain my workouts.<br />
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As far as the "right" workout goes, <b><i>find a workout plan that motivates you</i></b>. I'm not a runner, I'm bored at mile 2! I've tried, then I go get my bike. The winter gets tough for me so I do more workouts from home if I'm not teaching fitness classes that day. Are you someone who likes working out with a friend, or is it your <i>me</i> time? Just remember 2-3 days a week of strength training and 4-5 days of cardio. Because at the end of a workout I'm not looking in a mirror to see how good I <b><i>look</i></b>, I'm asking myself how I <i><b>felt</b></i> after my workout. Honesty works with this too. Did I really put in the effort I wanted to? I can't expect change if I'm not putting in the honest work. </div>
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Having said all that, do not beat yourself up for imperfection! It's what makes us relatable and real. Nothing I said in this post is pressure to <i><b>look</b></i> like someone that came out of a magazine. It has everything to do with living a long, healthy, happy life. We all have this amazing ability to take care of others, its in our nature, but we have got to take better care of ourselves. Give yourself permission. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-22986784851722444912017-11-16T22:48:00.004-08:002017-11-16T22:50:08.957-08:00Dr Appointment Tips for Chronic Illness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBPkcJFWeW9HE_d6EeiTMcg-weVMy7tbr1gzi24WM3Pm844ae1AM1ixiMKS-uAaiq7VN7GhfOfWbCo7cZrrQXevqzxGPtlqcoSFB8Fri-gUdhLeiuXJ2hAasAAoOVydZGh4Otb9ZBftYRm/s1600/taking+notes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBPkcJFWeW9HE_d6EeiTMcg-weVMy7tbr1gzi24WM3Pm844ae1AM1ixiMKS-uAaiq7VN7GhfOfWbCo7cZrrQXevqzxGPtlqcoSFB8Fri-gUdhLeiuXJ2hAasAAoOVydZGh4Otb9ZBftYRm/s320/taking+notes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I'm going to make this simple, again these are just ideas I have learned along the way. Many times I don't want to ask for assistance with my appointment either because I don't want to bother anyone or I just want to keep it private. But there are a few things that have helped make my appointments easier.<br />
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Doctor appointments with a specialist can take up half your day. If you think the appointment is going to make you tired then have someone drive you. I had one appointment take four hours and I was mentally spent. Thankfully my husband had come with me.<br />
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Having a second person there can help you remember all the info that is being thrown at you. And ask questions you may not think they even had. I forget my husband hasn't been to all the appointments and may not understand everything that is going on, so it can be a great opportunity for family to get clarity as well.<br />
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It may sound silly, but take water and a snack. It is no fun to get stuck in an appointment longer than you expected.<br />
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I take notes. I have a google doc I have kept track of all my symptoms, relapses, medication changes, tests and any changes to my health. I know my memory is bad so it good to have a something I can easily pull up on my phone when my Dr is asking me about my previous health history. I make sure to take a list of questions in as well as a list of any current symptoms. You can take notes during your appointment, but if that isn't convenient, I write everything down as soon as I leave my appointment<br />
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Ask questions. If something isn't quite making sense, it is your appointment and your health. Don't leave until you are satisfied with the visit. If you make an appointment before you leave, add it immediately to the calendar on your phone. I lose that little business card every time!<br />
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If you have any suggestions or questions, please leave a comment.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-68950600725240484522017-11-08T18:57:00.002-08:002017-11-08T20:19:41.450-08:00Chronic Illness-Ideas For Supporting The Ones We Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7XZ3sdV8xwBTfBPQ8yPkeuhZZ8uyhPyosm2nPJfCEEtzcF9KqVOZXroSjnvTswnJbNtpJeOJxGbkYP-6QTGzJYETplxYXNoYVWLLryIArWJZVLKI7sPD6GufAQKUtyteWC_adUq1mCBU/s1600/Tamra+and+Baloo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1392" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_7XZ3sdV8xwBTfBPQ8yPkeuhZZ8uyhPyosm2nPJfCEEtzcF9KqVOZXroSjnvTswnJbNtpJeOJxGbkYP-6QTGzJYETplxYXNoYVWLLryIArWJZVLKI7sPD6GufAQKUtyteWC_adUq1mCBU/s320/Tamra+and+Baloo.jpg" width="278" /></a></div>
You have a friend or a loved one that has a chronic illness, or maybe it is yourself. Either way we need ideas for how to help. Chances are you have asked, tried, worried yourself into a frenzy and can even get frustrated in trying find ways to help. I was going to look up tips on the web, and then decided to stick to what I have learned through experience. You will find a lot out there. I hope my personal insights will help you.<br />
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In the beginning you are given an overwhelming amount of info. You barely get whats happening, let alone your loved ones. I remember coming home that first day from my Dr's office after confirming it was MS. I had just a few hours before I would be hooked up to IV's for a strong dose of steroids and I was still unclear on what multiple sclerosis even was. <i>All I heard was blah blah blah...something is wrong with your brain...blah blah blah....no cure....blah blah blah....it can get worse! </i>Oh my gosh we were all in shock. I thought maybe had early menopause, maybe a sinus infection, but no such luck, I have something wrong with my <i>BRAIN! </i>My family gathered round like I was going to die. Phone calls were made, prayers said, and tears shed. I didn't know who to call, or where to even begin and wondered what was my life going to be now. It seemed like overnight that my future was <b>not</b> going to be the future I had planned.<br />
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<b>Tip #1</b>, It's Gonna Be OK. Don't act like they are deaths bed or tell them stories about the latest story you heard of someone that died from an illness like yours. I was once asked "how do even get out of bed in the morning? Isn't it just so depressing?" Umm no, I still look forward to my day, it may not be what it used to look like, but I happily get out of bed. Chronic illness makes life more difficult, but not impossible. It can lead to complications but most of us live a long life. So that's what I'm planning on.<br />
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<b>Tip #2,</b> Ask questions. I love it when people ask me questions about MS, education is the best way to get the word out. In 2015 I was on a panel of Mothers With Chronic Illnesses. Included mothers with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pain, and Chronic Back Pain. I was stunned to learn all that they go through on a daily basis. I learned so much from each of them and how they cope. There are websites for everything, I encourage you to seek them out. You will find info on symptoms, causes, drug therapies, and support groups.<br />
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<b>Tip #3 </b>Do not send the latest and greatest cure. Chances are we have gotten the emails, and seen all the social media posts etc. If you insist, do some research first. Not all articles are current or factual. My MS was not caused by drinking Diet Coke, a tick, or even lack of sunlight. Although I would like to use it as my reason for having to live on the beach someday. Rubbing on a $50 bottle of a plant oil may help me sleep better but it can't replace the drug therapies my doctors have prescribed me. And that cure they are doing over in Europe, there are reasons we aren't doing it in the US. I do love emails and texts that simply say "thinking of you, have a great day." PS I'm drinking my Coke Zero as I type.<br />
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<b>Tip #4 </b>Communication! I realize what a struggle it is to "know" what a person with a C.I. even needs. So I suggest some preemptive actions. Get a list of what your loved one could use help with on a "bad day". Have medical info on the fridge with Dr phone numbers etc. My kids know after my weekly shot, I'm sick for a day. My 13 year old is often on soup duty, my 16 yr old makes sure I have medications and my husband checks in on me now and then. In the beginning it didn't run that smooth. No one was checking on me, I was too sick to move and often angry that no one even cared! I would sob in the dark, under my electric blanket. Sad picture right? Then I realized I hadn't communicated what I was going through and what I needed. After a family meeting and a few lists, we got it down. Communication is key.<br />
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<b>Tip #5 </b>There will be times they don't want help. That's ok. It's hard to lose any amount of independence and adjust to limitations. It takes time to figure out where you need to ask for help and what you can still manage on your own. I often need someone to drive, but how I hate it! It has been one of the hardest things to get used to. So if they don't want help, its ok to back off. Do what you can to make their lives easier. Just letting them know you are there is comforting.<br />
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<b>Tip #6 </b>Find Support. Chronic Illness can be very lonely for spouses and for the individual. Maybe even more so for the spouse. They can't actually <i>feel</i> what it's like, they can't cure it and can feel left out of the process. It is easy to fall into the trap of doing it all on your own. There are support groups out there. Even if its just a phone call. I recently went to lunch with a lady that had been newly diagnosed because a friend had given her my name (with permission). One of the first things I did after being diagnosed was get my puppy. Not everyone is a dog person, but pets can bring emotional support. I didn't want to be alone. After 5 years my little Yorkie has learned when I'm not feeling well. If I'm too cold, he can sense it and curl up on my lap to warm me up.<br />
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<b>Tip #7 </b>Humor is good. It's good to laugh about the craziness of it all. I have issues with memory. Did I really just forget my dogs name? Poor thing. Ever seen 50 First Dates?, some days it feels just like that. One night I asked one of my kids to say family prayer, only to find out they just did. I have learned to laugh and let it go. Hope somebody prayed for my memory. :) Which brings me to my next tip.<br />
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<b>Tip #8 </b>Stay positive. I know some days that seems so hard! Its true, watch what you say. Making comments like "you already said that" or "I already told you..., don't you remember?" Control that urge to be frustrated out loud. Just make sure comments don't shame or guilt them. Some sleep a lot and it can't be helped. Statements of how long they've been in bed will only add to the guilt they already feel for not having the energy to get it all done. <i>On the flip side-R</i>elapses and bad days can put a strain on any relationship. Be kind to the person that is trying to support you. They are doing the best they can in circumstances that are often unpredictable.<br />
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<b>Tip #9 </b>Give yourself permission to not do it all. Chronic Illness or not, this is a good habit to form. It took me a long time to not have mom guilt and go through that evil list in my head that runs through everything I <i>should </i>have done. Now I make a list of what I <i>did do</i>.<br />
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<b>Tip #10 </b> Fill this one in by commenting below.<br />
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I hope you will add your comments, make more suggestions and reach out. Not everyone's experience is the same.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-6827065965106434532017-10-11T23:36:00.001-07:002017-10-11T23:43:11.205-07:00Everything Is Not Alright<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Post after post I see comments on being real. #bereal Ladies putting themselves out there to let their friends know they aren't ok. I love that, there needs to be more real. But oh my, what if I posted what my day really looked like? I still can't bring myself to do that one. I keep thinking about how much energy it takes to appear happy when you aren't. The strength it takes some days to make yourself go to work or take care of the kids. The past few months have been filled with loss and tragedy, the struggle to teach a fitness class and put on that instructor smile was almost more than I could bare. So why couldn't I just give myself a break? A freakin break from comparing myself to another, permission to grieve, a day to be sad, a day to let the house go, a day to not expect more than I could give...why can't I let go?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbz8JxYagYONCiXIOjtvi-W6S3UBkC4fkQZxQdUbQNw1ceooyvp_Cfmc1LN6DngE7VfcANjXcU7yI1pFOaf2A48FOWvfJZATfOV2gH0Lo2g2koQmXll_-69UzoMoHOP7iOemMpxov33p3B/s1600/20171011_234702-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="692" data-original-width="613" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbz8JxYagYONCiXIOjtvi-W6S3UBkC4fkQZxQdUbQNw1ceooyvp_Cfmc1LN6DngE7VfcANjXcU7yI1pFOaf2A48FOWvfJZATfOV2gH0Lo2g2koQmXll_-69UzoMoHOP7iOemMpxov33p3B/s200/20171011_234702-01.jpeg" width="176" /></a>I'm guessing it's fear and time. First who has time to let themselves go? But mostly fear of what others will think, fear of showing emotion, fear of letting yourself unravel, fear of being vulnerable, and maybe even the fear of being less. We tend to put up our shields to protect ourselves. Women these days seem to have to be everything for everyone. Its not enough to do your best, you feel the ever growing pressure to be the "do it all" woman. Strong, confident, passionate, kind, humble, fit, and the list goes on. None are bad qualities but before social media we gave ourselves days to be less than perfect and no one even knew. I was a train wreck during my teen years, thank heavens I don't have pictures floating out on the Cloud. So grateful I was a teen pre Facebook! Social Media has a way of making us try to live up to that perfect life, having that perfect family picture, wishing we had the money for that amazing vacation, and what about that perfect husband Sally wrote about today? Ahh they're soulmates who never fight....gag. You find yourself dreaming of a better life. Which doesn't help you manage your own struggles any better. I find myself embarrassed. That's right, embarrassed. In last 5 years we have lost our main income, had to sell our home, found out I have MS, I'm living in a rental I don't even invite my friends into for various reasons, my kids aren't getting straight A's and earning scholarships, and I pray every month to just be able to pay our bills. That's not even half of it. I'm tired of bad news, losing loved ones, and seeing the hurt in my child's eyes. If I was the bigger person I would turn that all around to say we are stronger because of our trials, and we are learning to live on faith and rice. But for once I think I would like to say everything is not alright. As a matter of fact it kinda sucks right now. </div>
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Yes I'll get through it, yes I'm sure I will learn some life altering lesson. But on the way I'm going to be a little angry from time to time. A little resentful mixed with a bit of why me? So today, on National Girl Day, this is my "be real" post. Because tomorrow will be National Let Yourself Go Day. (I made that up, don't Google it.) That's right a messy hair, maybe no shower( totally up to you), cry if you want to, let the house go, leave the dishes in the sink, watch a movie in the middle of the day, ooh be late, whatever it is I hope you will share your less than perfect day.<br />
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Its Ok that everything is not alright. You are enough, whether you have had one bad day or a bad year. The older I get the more I realize there's just no room for judging others. I am surrounded by strong, amazing women who I admire. Not because they do it all but because they don't pretend to. Being real is being strong.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">*Model Alyssa Caldwell</span></i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-27081606790294717672017-05-27T22:19:00.002-07:002017-05-27T22:37:59.785-07:00The Suburban Mom Fairy Tale <div dir="ltr">
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You've seen her. The perfect suburban mom. White skinny jeans, hair done by 9 a.m, already pushing her Ambercrombie children in a double stroller to the park. The dialogue starts running through your head as you sit at the stop sign driving your children late to school.....again. Wearing your fuzzy PJ's, no bra and a long jacket to hide it all. <i>"I bet she got up at 5 a.m. and ran 8 miles too." </i> You despise her just a little, and you don't even know her. <i>"Miss skinny jeans probably has a perfect husband, great job and fantastic sex. Who does she think she is? Why can't she look tired like the rest of us? My kids got handed dry cereal in a zip-loc bag as I rushed them off to school. Sure hope they brushed their teeth and put on a clean pair of socks. "</i> In 60 seconds flat you feel like the worse mom ever. Drive away, just drive away. </div>
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Once upon a time I had that perfectly put together neighbor. Beautifully curled hair, a body to die for, kids that came straight out of an ad, a husband that adored her and a house that was kept as tidy as they come. And she did get up at 5 a.m for the gym., chipper as a bird on crack! Her kids went to bed at 7, and up by 6 a.m., homemade breakfast everyday and stories of how her husband loved to snuggle every night. (gag).....for the love I just wanted her to stop talking. It wasn't till a year later that I learned Sam had been extremely depressed all year. Her marriage was struggling and that perfect persona was just a mirage. Her attempts to keep it all together had rubbed off into making sure her children also appeared perfect. It left her no time to rest because if she did she would have let go of the image she had created. So she stayed busy. But she had grown tired. Life was catching up to her and she needed to be real even if just for an hour. I was extremely humbled that she confided in me, I felt guilty for judging her. It taught me a valuable lesson, grass isn't always greener....<br />
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The Suburban Fairytale we tell ourselves....<b><i>"I am only as perfect as what I let them see." </i></b> Somewhere along the way we as woman felt the need to do it all on our own as to not be judged for our short comings. <i>"If my house is unkept, then I am less of homemaker. If my kids aren't sterling scholars with their life all figured out I must not have tried hard enough. If I don't smile and say everything is fine, they will know something is wrong." </i>But no one knows of the two jobs she is holding down just to make ends meet or the migraine she went to bed with and still managed to get the kids off to school the next morning. Getting ready for the day, was simply all she could do. What about the single mom who is the provider, home maker, and listening sound board. The woman who has been waiting years to have a family of her own and still manages to support every wedding and baby shower with a smile on her face. </div>
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In that fairytale kingdom we call home, we may be suffering within those castle walls. Wives and mothers with depression, an illness, a wayward child, grief, abuse, loneliness, or struggling with self esteem. It is a hard thing to feel like you have to go it alone. We tell ourselves that everyone is too busy, or its embarrassing to ask for help. I get it. I hate asking for help. Because I fear what everyone will think or that I will inconvenience someone. Fear that they will see into my life and be disappointed. There is a real fear of losing ones friends if they knew the real you. </div>
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Ladies, true friends cannot be lost. Let them see the real you. It is those moments of realness and vulnerability that allows love to grow. If there is anything I could change from this moment on, it would be honesty about my life. The good, the bad and the sometimes awesome. Because in moments of truth and sharing, you gain strength from others. Others who may be feeling the same pressures of life. Ask for help, lean on one another, you may be answering their prayer to help another in need. </div>
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And the next time I pass by that perfect mom with the seemingly perfect life, I might just say hello. </div>
After all, she was walking alone. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-69656851665001353112017-05-16T15:06:00.001-07:002018-01-27T23:10:03.065-08:00Mother HoverI was the second of seven children and held a big responsibility in watching my siblings. I held 2 part time jobs in high school, made my car payments and paid my own car insurance. I didn't ask for money from my parents, if I wanted to go somewhere I rode my bike or didn't go. There was a time when my family had no money and I watched my mom pull together other resources. In 5th grade I was asked why I didn't own a pair of jeans. It was the first time I realized it even mattered. <br>
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I knew how to take care of sick siblings, cook dinner, do my own laundry, find directions by asking, talk to people, make appointments, and find information on my own. Have you seen a teen struggle to even talk to another adult? It is painful to watch. They have spent so much time using technology to communicate they have lost the art of speaking. When my oldest was 18 I walked her into her eye appointment at Wal-mart and dropped her off. Told her to sign in, fill out the form and wait for her appointment. She had an instant panic attack! But I walked away and she braved her fear of talking to people face to face. <br>
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<span style="background-color: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129; font-family: "san francisco" , , , ".sfnstext-regular" , sans-serif; letter-spacing: -0.24px;">Obviously if your child is very young this may not apply. But kids/teens who see you work through struggles, health issues, finances will learn how to problem solve as an adult. If we hide it all and only let them see life through rose colored glasses, then how will they handle any crisis? </span><br>
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<span style="background-color: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129;"><span style="font-family: "San Francisco", -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; letter-spacing: -0.24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"Some kids don't lean from watching others experience things. They have to learn these lessons all for themselves. If we are consistently protecting our kids from the consequences of their choices they are going to go into adulthood completely unprepare</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.24px;">d. " <i> </i></span></span><i><span style="font-family: San Francisco, -apple-system, system-ui, .SFNSText-Regular, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.24px;">Stephanie</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.24px;"> Stewart</span></span></i></span><br>
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<span style="color: #1d2129;"><span style="background-color: #f6f7f9;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.24px;">When did we turn into this society that we fear our kids may not have it all? We over compensate by signing them up in multiple activities, then add private lessons and to top it all off we pay for it all! They lack the appreciation because they have come to expect it. I am so guilty of all of it. I'm not sure where that all comes from, maybe from watching my brothers get all the attention for sports. It's a competitive world out there and we naturally want our kids to have the best chance. But at what cost? If I could do it over, I would start with focusing more on academics and how to earn the privilege of extra activities. They would earn money to understand the costs and at the very least teach them the importance of the value of money. </span></span></span><div><font color="#1d2129"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.24px;"><br></span></font>
<br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-11461352550917217912017-03-16T22:01:00.003-07:002017-04-27T09:28:20.213-07:00 Depression and Anxiety In Kids. 10 Tips For Moms<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This may be the most difficult article I write. Depression is hereditary in my family. From my Grandmother on down, the women in my family have a suffered a great deal. As a teen my episodes of depression and anxiety kept me from enjoying my life. I missed out on school dances, spent a lot of time alone and ended being hospitalized twice by the time I was a Junior in high school. <br />
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So when each of my girls starting exhibiting signs, I didn't take any risks and I listened to my mom intuition. Every daughter of mine by the age of 12 ,as their hormones were changing, developed some form of A & D. Triggers such as stress, friends, peers, school sports, school pressures, the feeling that they just couldn't quite measure up were all factors in making it worse. And it isn't just happening in our teens, I see girls younger and younger dealing with feeling of depression. Social media is a big factor. They can't look on line without seeing what the world thinks they should look like. They can't open social media without seeing the news of wars, school shootings, suicides and bullying at an unprecedented rate.<br />
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I was a PE teacher for an elementary school in a harder area of town. Kids as early as first grade were showing signs depression, acting out, sadness, and a general feeling of not being important. It broke my heart. I was taking a child weekly if not more to the front office for help. So I took a chance on one of my sixth graders who just couldn't follow rules and I gave her task. I had her check with her teacher to have her come help me with the younger PE classes during her recess. In just a few weeks her confidence came out, she was cooperative and coming to class prepared. After two months, her friends wanted to help. Show a kid you believe in them and they will start to see their worth. <br />
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It's a sad reality that girls who are struggling emotionally seem to also be targets for bullying and victims of mean girls. And its not just girls their own age, I've seen a teacher demean a child in front of a classroom. I've witnessed trusted adults leave a teenager feeling like they don't belong. We need solutions to help our kids learn problem solving skills. Or they will contunue to skip the resolution part of a problem and go right to the extreme. So what as parents are we to do? What can we do? Here are my top ten tips. <br />
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<b><i>1. Take your child seriously. If they are down and not enjoying what they normally enjoy its time to start asking questions and get advice. Keep communication open. Talk and talk some more. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>2. Get help. Find a therapist early on. They will make the decisions with you on the best course of action. It may be as simple as opening communication or it may be the need for medication.</i></b><br />
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<b><i>3. Follow your GUT! I cannot count the times my mom intuition kicked in and I have been right </i></b><b><i>100% of the time. You know your child, trust it. If you think something just doesn't feel right, don't ignore it. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>4. If bullying is happening in your school and they won't take action, <u>you </u>take action. There is always someone higher up in the chain. If you know of another child that is suicidal please contact a professional or the school counselor. They have the resources needed. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>5. Do not be afraid to give your child a break. You have options. I have homeschooled part time for two of my girls. They did main classes at school and the rest at home. Especially Jr High, you can go to your school district for a exemption form. You are in control. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>6. Your child may not make any sense to you, welcome to hormones. But it is so important that they know you love them no matter what. That what they are saying is important and you are listening. They want to know someone has their back and they have a safe place to express themselves without always getting a lecture. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>7. Find a support system. Family and friends are wonderful resources, don't do it alone. If your child doesn't want to talk to you, have them give you a name of adult they will talk to and set up the support. Make sure it's an adult. Mom's and dad's you need the support too. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>8. Its ok to have access to your child's media accounts. You are not breaking some code of trust. They are in your home, and you need to know what is on that phone. Did you know Instagram has added a video recording option that will delete after someone watches it just once? Know what is on your kids phone! </i></b><br />
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<b><i>9. Keep them safe. Be it from themselves or from others influences. Have numbers for help lines close by. Know their friends and their parents. </i></b><br />
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<b><i>10. Keep them busy. Find what they like to do, and maybe find a new hobby. I have found that discovering things they would like to learn how to do, is very therapeutic. Finding a new talent can be so fun. </i></b><br />
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There are things you don't want to know happening in our schools. I hear it all the time, "not my kid". And it may not be your kid, but I bet they have heard and seen it all. Pornography, openly talking about sex, bullying, fights, inappropriate pictures going around the social network. Its all out there. There is a general opinion that if you don't accept all things, relationships in any form, anything and everything, then you are judgmental. So our young kids are learning at a early age to not have boundaries. At the very least open a conversation, ask questions. You want to know what they know. <br />
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They are children until they turn 18 and leave my home. I have pulled the mom card more than once, I have called schools and parents when I am concerned about other children. I have taken smart phones away and replaced it with a flip phone that takes 3 minutes to even type a text. Your first and foremost concern is their safety. I will do everything in my power to keep them safe. Depression and anxiety are real, and I take it very seriously. <br />
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On the bright side my older girls headed out of the dark teen years and developed into remarkable women. They can recognize when they are feeling depressed and anxious and will still come to me for help. It may be a life long struggle but they have the tools to cope. It took taking my blinders off and pushing for help. I'm not a doctor. But I am a mom who has been helping my girls through this for the last 10 years. I hope my experiences will help you when you are at a loss for what to do next. <br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">*Note this article is expressly my opinions. I am not a doctor please seek the proper medical advice if you have concerns about anxiety and depression. </span></i><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-53811844699652287572017-02-22T20:45:00.000-08:002017-08-17T23:59:36.463-07:00Why I Choose to Push Past My Limits<h3 style="text-align: center;">
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It's 7 a.m. my muscles ache as usual, I'm exhausted to the point I know I could sleep hours longer, my brain is foggy and I'm wobbly just stepping out of bed. So why bother? I have a perfectly good excuse, any doctor would back me up. But that has never been me. I'm stubborn, just ask my mom. Tell me I can't do something and I'm likely to make it a point to prove you wrong.<br>
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I discovered something even before being diagnosed with MS, I love the adrenaline rush from pushing my body. I had never been strong before, I had no idea what being healthy was all about or how to even get started. I barely survived pregnancy. So when I was done having my girls and had time to focus on me, I began to see the big picture. I started trying new things like road biking, jogging, teaching Pilates and fitness classes. I couldn't get enough. I had never envisioned myself as being a fit person, I had suffered from years of depression and anxiety. All I wanted to do was figure out a way to happy for myself and my family. Now I had this amazing outlet and it was working. <br>
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Then the day comes when you are told you have a disease that will alter your life's path. There is no cure, no way of knowing what the long term effects will be, accompanied by a long list of "what to avoid". And let me tell you the list is long! After years of trying to find a balance of working out without over doing it, I starting to feel defeated by my disease. During one of my scheduled Neurology visits my nurse looked at me and said "<i>Your expectations are too high, you want to feel better and we are just trying to maintain your health.</i>" I was so mad, who are you to tell me I won't feel better!? And that became my <b>WHY </b>for pushing past my limits. I lift weights so my muscles will get stronger, I continue to be a fitness instructor so my coordination and mind are challenged, I do things I'm afraid to do so I know I'm living life not just watching it. <br>
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My best two hours of my day, when I feel the most "normal" is when I'm working out, teaching a class, mowing the lawn, walking my dogs, but doing what I love. No one is going to want to push themselves doing something they hate doing. <br>
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Teaching fitness and training is the hardest thing I do but the most rewarding. I push past the tired, the pain and fear because I'm not alone. I'm one in many. You all are the reasons I do what I do. I hope to build up those that are discouraged, make the imperfect know they don't have to be and show those that don't where to begin, where the start line is. Remember...<i><b>Limits are only limits if you don't reach past them. </b></i><br>
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<br>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-907932666023847152017-02-15T13:39:00.000-08:002019-03-14T23:59:51.697-07:00The Weight Loss Fairy Tale<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A woman approached me after teaching my cardio class and asked me how she could lose more weight. My first question was "who said you needed to? " Because to just look at her, I did not see a person that was overweight. I was a bit surprised to find out it was her doctor. The urgency in her voice made it clear she wanted to lose the next 20 lbs and quickly. My advice? Stop looking at the scale. If you are drinking plenty of water, eating healthy, exercising and you are feeling good then you are on the right track.<br />
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I am absolutely exhausted over what society portrays as a healthy woman. The idea that there are no flaws on a body is absurd. I have photoshopped my own picture before I posted on social media because I was embarrassed. Im sure if I was 20 years old, no kids and was at the gym six days a week, I might look like that ad in the latest fitness magazine.<br />
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The average size woman is a size 16 as reported by Forbes in 2016. Are they all supposed to feel overweight? Of course not. I have an amazing six pack underneath the soft layers that show signs I gave birth to four beautiful girls. I have stretch marks, wrinkles, and cellulite, that scream "hey I'm in my 40's!" Weight loss doesn't happen over night, it takes months and years because it is a process to do it the right way. There are so many factors to consider, and there is no quick fix. We have to consider hormones, stress, the foods we are eating, the lifestyle we are living, and how much sleep we are getting. I don't want that to be discouraging, I just want you to understand weight loss is just as much mental as it is physical.<br />
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If your train of thought is "I'll be happy once I lose the weight" then that is a fairytale you are telling yourself. I know because I've been there. At first it was about losing the weight to be happy, then I wanted a flatter stomach, then I wanted to be stronger, like CrossFit Strong!, and the list goes on. Well I lost the weight, my abs got a little more toned, and I got stronger. So why wasn't I happy? Because from the beginning of this fairy tale I had told my self I wasn't good enough unless I was all those things. I wasn't a good enough wife, mother, friend, teacher unless I was thin. Ladies that is not even close to the truth!<br />
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So how do we change that mind set? First you have to get good with who you are. Its hard to compliment ourselves isn't it? Remember how much you weigh has nothing to do with how good a friend, wife, or mother you are. Wouldn't it be great if we had a scale we could stand on and it would tell us "today you met your goal for amazing mom." Be confident in yourself. Nothing sexier than a woman that is confident. Your reasons for wanting to be a healthier weight could include "feeling" better, sleeping more soundly, being more active, you want to run your first 5K, lower blood pressure, these are all healthy reasons that will have life long benefits. So ladies don't fall for that myth that skinny=happily ever after. Happiness is knowing you were always amazing. Life is meant to live it, learn from it, make mistakes, do better, love more and share it. <br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-22735871606315533782017-02-11T00:44:00.000-08:002017-02-22T21:04:09.797-08:00Ugh, do I have to Run? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm a true believer that when it comes fitness you have to find what motivates you. What do you love to do? I started as a fitness instructor nine years ago. At the time my passion was Pilates and still is but I quickly discovered other interests. If you hate running, you will not be motivated to hop on a treadmill. Don't get me wrong, I like running, for about three miles. Then I start going over my grocery list in my head and checking my gps map every three minutes. Realizing Ive only gone 1/2 a mile and and I'm averaging a 13 min mile. Most my friends call that walking. Haha. But get me on a bike and I'm in my zone! I feel like I'm getting somewhere. Now I'm averaging 18 mph and singing out loud to whatever Pandora is playing. Plus if I was being chased by a bear I'd have better chance of getting away than my running skills. (We've all seen that meme right?)<br />
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There is no wrong answer for the best workout, because its the workout that makes you feel like you want to keep going. When I found High Fitness, I was at a crossroads. I needed a change in my workout and in my teaching. When one door closes, find another door. High Fitness came into my life and BAM! I couldn't get enough. That is what Passion feels like. <br />
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You will find sometimes in your fitness journey that your exercise routine loses its sparkle. That's ok, and normal. Its a great time to explore your options. One of the questions as a trainer I get asked a lot is "why am I stuck in a rut?" Weight loss is no longer happening, muscles aren't changing, endurance seems to be blah. So I ask if they have changed up their fitness routine lately and the answer is 99% always NO. If you take the same classes, follow the same routine and eat the same foods, you will plateau. Time to switch it up and re-evaluate. Decide is it classes you like, being outdoors, lifting weights? etc. All of those areas have plenty of options. My goal this winter was to try to like it more, I hate being cold. I bought my youngest a set of snowshoes so she could join me. It was a win win. I get time with my daughter, I added a new activity and I braved the snow. Goal met. <br />
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You will hear me say it over and over. Focus on how your workout makes you feel, not what you look like. You should feel energized, happy and accomplished. That smile is what awesome looks like. <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>*Copyright High Fitness </i></span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-58945742554804759212015-12-05T23:05:00.001-08:002016-02-28T22:50:17.633-08:00No Place Like Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I heard it on TV as casual as we've all heard the phrase before "There's no place like home.". <br />
Where is home? I've moved around most my life. And just when I thought I found the perfect "home", I lost it. It's not the walls I'll miss, it's the dream of raising my kids and seeing future grandkids sit at the same barstools just like their moms did. Listening about their day as we eat chocolate chip cookies. This will not be that house. </div>
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The place I thought I'd have family coming to visit, cousins playing in the back yard, friends coming for lunch and celebrating holiday traditions. It's not that house either. So we sold the big shiny house and traded it for a much smaller version. </div>
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There was no time this year to put up Christmas lights, we barely had room for a tree and yet here we are...a roof over our heads and food on the table (or at least on a box that's covering the table). But in this new house, children are still happy, healthy and loved. In our little oasis of starting over, we will always be home no matter the GPS location and no matter who else decides to find us. We are grateful in any circumstance and faith is a powerful thing.</div>
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Blessed by the miracle that as we left that big shiny house; family, neighbors, and friends, all came at a moments notice. Calls of support and offers of kindness from those with already had busy lives came to just to make mine a little bit easier. Oh how I hate asking for help but I just couldn't do it all. So they came, and I watched as my house became empty of things. And that was just it. We had a lot of things. Even after I sold some of the extra stuff that would never fit into a house half the size, I still have too much. It is time to SIMPLIFY. </div>
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Two months after we moved I began to notice that we were spending more time as a family. Even if only because we were forced to, due to our small living space. I also started to see my girls, and I mean really see them. Moments in the kitchen listening to them talk to each other about their day, their views on church, politics, friends, school, boys and so much more. But what made the change? Maybe the square footage but I had also made a decision to be present. Stop finding extra things to keep me busy, and make time for them. Its ok to say NO to invites and not make every lunch date. SIMPLIFY. </div>
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Home is where I watch my children grow, be a wife and best friend. Home is where there is safety, love and happiness. So I guess the TV shows are right "there is no place like home." And location has nothing to do with it. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-64989646831006692982015-11-12T20:39:00.000-08:002015-11-12T20:39:00.324-08:00So What Do You Do?<div dir="ltr">
We as women, get asked often, "so what do you do?" This question can either depress you or give you an opportunity to embellish the truth. I remember a day sitting there with my 4th brand new baby girl. Women from my church had come by to visit. "So what do you do, do you have any hobbies?" I started to tear up as I realized I had no answer. Hobbies?! I barely leave my house. My highlight is going to the grocery store all by myself and taking my sweet time. Possibly lying about how long the checkout line is so I can sit in the car a little longer in peace. So no I don't have hobbies unless you count laundry. After a minute, I tell them I scrapbook, hoping that will make me sound less homely. And by scrap-booking I mean printing out pictures and putting them in one of those cheap plastic photo pages and placing it in a 3 ring binder. </div>
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Ten years later, I try not to sigh when asked this question. Still just as busy and no time to myself. I am a professional dance mom, cheer mom, soccer mom, and my hobby is how to turn my SUV into a traveling circus and be three places at once. And don't forget still act like the love Goddess your husband still thinks you have the energy to be. Do I have a hobby? Get real. If I could fit in a nap every day, I would claim that as my hobby. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-23424976626123027522015-07-29T21:42:00.000-07:002019-11-12T00:39:40.022-08:00The Other Four Letter Word... <div dir="ltr">
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The "diet" subject has been on my mind for a while now. If we as moms are not happy with what we look like, how will our children build a positive self image?. We throw the word "diet" around like its a normal way of eating. Replace that four letter word with "healthy lifestyle" and it takes on a whole different meaning. Diet implies we are denying ourselves of food while on the other hand practicing a healthy lifestyle implies we care about ourselves enough to treat our bodies the right way emotionally and physically for a longer period of time. </div>
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I had the opportunity to teach health and fitness to girls ages 8-11 today. I was surprised at their answers. Did you know your girls already believe that<b> you exercise to lose weight? </b> While that is a realistic goal for some, they are too young to be thinking about losing pounds. Having the discussion about physical and emotional health starts now. Eating disorders don't just begin in High School, a girls self image is growing right before your eyes, now. And when that image is less than good, self doubt creeps in and bad habits can start to form. Having three girls in high school, I can tell you that the pressure to look a certain way is stronger than ever, including how thin you are. Yes we are pummeling our kids with words like "self esteem " and "equality" , making sure everyone gets a participation trophy and build them up to be the best they can be.<b> But where is the talk about <i>self worth</i>? The belief that you are important simply because you are a child of God and perfect in every way. The difference between self esteem and self worth is that self esteem is what your impression of yourself is, self worth is having faith that God loves you and knows who you are. That self confidence and love for yourself comes from a higher power. </b></div>
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I don't believe kids need a fitness routine, normal day to day activities that children love to do is staying active. Sports, hiking, family walks, jumping on the trampoline, dancing etc., all a good way to stay fit and happy. A child that is active, is healthy. One of my favorite suggestions was having a "dance party before school" What a great way to start the day. The second half is teaching our kids to eat right. </div>
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<b>Myth #2. All carbs are bad. What?! Please eat good carbs, emphasis on "good" carbs. Your 10 yr old should not be staying clear of all carbs. Offer a balanced snack. They all had great suggestions but not balanced. </b>Add peanut butter with your apple, string cheese to your fruit, cottage cheese with your veggies...Yes we can all Google enormous amounts of info on this subject but it has to be there and available for your kids to try it. Moving on the breakfast. My teens are the worst at eating poorly in the morning. Think about it, they have six hours of school or more, team practices right after and possibly work. There is not enough nutrients in a granola bar to sustain you or the candy bar they ate for lunch. It took some time but my girls are finally starting to see the wisdom on fueling your body for an active life. You wouldn't start off for a trip to California on an empty tank of gas, nor will you have the energy to think clearly if you don't fuel up right in the morning and eat healthy through out the day. Do not skip meals! </div>
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My point is, watch how and what you say about exercise and eating. Sit down with your kids, explain the difference between dieting and living healthy. There is a time and place where loosing weight is the right choice, overseen by a professional and pediatrician if needed. I am guilty myself of talking about how much weight I wanted to lose so often that I started to see the negative effect it had on my girls. Sitting them all down and explaining the difference changed my attitude and outlook as well as theirs. I no longer use the word " diet" I simply say "I need to eat better". Because when I do , I feel better and I can keep up with my demanding life.<br />
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(Disclaimer...I am not a Doctor, these are my opinions based on years of practice and being a mom of 4 girls.)</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1229534004619515706.post-85875254782842147552015-06-21T21:27:00.000-07:002017-02-25T22:25:01.236-08:00It's All Your Fault!<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Its all your fault" my daughter says. The wide range of things that seem to be my fault is consistently getting larger. It's my fault they got a bad grade, lost their homework, late to school, late to dance practice, can't find cheer shoes , can't find socks, can't find food, missing books, missing keys, no groceries (ok that is my fault.) Actually I'm flattered that I seem to hold the power to know where all things are. Somewhere along the way my children believe I can see back in time and into the future. That I have logged in my brain where they last left anything they own. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We as moms have a secret, it's called professional guessing. I can guess where you last left your cheer uniform, probably guess your socks are dirty and you ate all the food. I don't mind taking the heat, I am the safest outlet for all my girls frustrations. My doors are open morning, noon and night. However girls seem to have the height of emotions no matter how big or small the issue at hand is. There are tears over a lost phone, tears over fights with friends and tears over not finding the right outfit to wear! There are moments when you are a loss of how to help your teen because the overwhelming amount of tears coming from your child is that of a 2 year old that just dropped its ice cream cone onto cement. There is no consoling, its like waiting in line for a Disney ride and you are trying to figure out if there is a fast pass. Wouldn't that be awesome? <b><i> A ticket for your teen that says "come back at 2:30" the line to rationalization will be shorter. </i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Someday my girls will see what is really my fault. It's my fault they can make decisions on their own, my fault they graduated high school and hopefully college. My fault they pick themselves up when life knocks them down. And definitely my fault to know God is the center of all. Someday they will be mothers and it will all be their fault. </span><br />
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